Reflections

I have just finished saving my blog to a document file as well as several PDFs. It was about time, after almost 2 years of having it online. I’m amazed at the number of words (22,000) that I managed to gather! What I realise today is the difficulty of transforming experiences into words, a blog text, which is structured as a diary. This means that there is no previous preparation, just thoughts, ideas, things to remember. Of course, you don’t put everything online, this is 1) impossible, because you’d need a second life to write everything in detail, and 2) irresponsible, especially because you cannot publicise anything too personal.

There’s this thin line of “personal” that is quite blurry online. How can I not write about a party that I went if I’ve uploaded pictures on Facebook? And how can I still mention important events that govern my mind when they are related to insecurities? Second wave feminists stated that “the personal is political”, third wavers argued that “the pleasurable is political as well”, but what happens to the online politics of female writing? Censorship and freedom of speech online are two issues that occupy my thoughts a lot recently.

One other issue that has been on my mind lately is war. I’ve always been against it, it makes more harm than good. I come from a country that has been at war ever since it existed. I understand people that feel proud of their heroes (other dead other alive), or people that mourn for their dead heroes, upgrading them to martyrs. All I hear is “people died so that you can be free”. I don’t mean to be disrespectful, and this is not the point of my essay, but I have my reasons to disagree.

1) In what way am I free? Politically, I live under a regime that I vote against.  The majority of people nowadays don’t even think it’s necessary to cast their vote –note: exercise ONE of their rights as citizens!– and actively change things. Socially, I still see racism and sexism. In the educational system, nothing seems to be working: let’s raise university fees, but not stop the war that costs a lot, that’s to save people’s lives. People that want to be educated should pay for it (who said we have the right to free education?). The global economy is shit, but I don’t think I need to state my arguments on this. Arts still receive massive amounts of censorship. Music has drastically changed and the X Factor is the proof of it. I still need a visa to visit many countries in the world, and in certain cases, I am not allowed to enter a country even if there are cultural and personal issues to do so. I can’t find a job because almost everyone has a PhD nowadays. Hate is in every corner and threats are an everyday way of life. Cameras are everywhere, tracing everyone on the map. Same thing on the internet. So again, how am I free when the whole idea of freedom is questioned?

The martyrs died in vain, as our generation seems to be a very spoilt child without manners or any sort of education. Of course, there are exceptions as in every rule, but we want the exceptions to be the majority.

2) Why did these people fight in the war? Did they want to save us? Were they forced? Did they just want to kill the enemy? Either saviours, suppressed citizens or nationalists, all the motives are bad. And it’s not people’s fault. It’s the war’s fault.

In every culture one country’s loss is another country’s victory. On the 19th of May the turkish war of independence is celebrated. In Greece it is the remembrance day for the Greek genocide. Same event, different interpretation for every nation.

In the past, we fought about land. Today, it’s land, petrol, and any sort of power over the rest of the world. Or sometimes, a war is needed to liberate the uncivilised cultures. And the civilised liberator is usually the governors of the people I described in 1). Apparently, there is something wrong in all this – and it has always been, and it will probably always be. And this is why no one cares to say anything against the war or any sort of war anymore: social, political, sexual, racial. Nihilism is the disease of our time, no one believes they can change anything, and this is how “freedom” has constructed our minds. We are free to think, but we don’t really want to. Eh, why should we bother anyway, we only live for a short period of time, a short but a good one, etc.

But how do we tell the people in the white coats enough is enough?

 

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