Re-(X)

I’ve just come back from the meeting with my supervisor and the members of my examination committee. We’ve been talking for 2,5 hours on the subject of my dissertation but also, other more generalised stuff.

I have to admit I’m knocked out. Not only because of what I have to do now, but also, as I feel brain-fucked (in the best way, that’s a good thing, I really can’t remember the last time I felt like this!).

On the one hand, professors devoted so much time from their lives to meet up with me, something I am extremely grateful (and I don’t think I expressed it with all of my heart). I had never three people talking about my work with so much passion and insight, it was the first time and I’m at the same time shocked, but happy.

They all gave me their personal notes on my paper, which I haven’t looked carefully yet, and they also talked it through with me. As it seems, there’s a problem in methodology of researching and writing. I must rephrase parts of my dissertation in order to be easier to read, more concise and focused.

Apart from this, there’s nothing wrong. They all like the idea, they’re quite happy about my future plans etc. No need to discuss this aspect!

So, now, I want to reconstruct the material of my work. That means: remove bits that I don’t need, analyse others that have been neglected (because I took them for granted) and review my work by myself (of course, I’ve received heavy feedback from all of the professors).

I’m so exhausted from talking and thinking, I think my brain has crashed and I need a recovery disk to start it up again. That’s why I’m re-evaluating my data, and write this post. To sort things out (hmm… I think that’s “defragment”), to recover data I’ve missed, and maybe delete any useless information.

I’ve got few ideas on how to work now. I finally see “writing a dissertation” happening. Until now, I’ve managed to organise all the material (which was extremely hard work) into categories. Now I have to make them merge. Literally.

I’m undertaking an interdisciplinary research. This is going to be my future for the next 4 years in academia. I need to narrow things down, re-think, re-evaluate, re-consider, re-write. I need to stick to the important facts for my interest, which, as it uncovered, is hacking culture.

I didn’t see this before, as I was very pre-occupied with all the minor details, to understand for myself what is happening. I now know what is happening in circuit-bending, and I can juxtapose it with hacking culture and its invasion in popular music/sound.

I’ve got one month to re-write my work. I need to deliver the final paper in late August (after meeting with my supervisor of course and let him know what I’m doing). At best, I will be able to present my dissertation before the 8th of September. At worst, I will return at the end of September to present it. Sounds like a good plan and I really hope it works.

Again, I don’t want anyone to think I’m not happy about what happened. On the contrary; I’m glad it happened now, so it saves much time and future pain…

Thanks to everyone for supporting me – and just to let you know, I still need you!

Off I go.

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